


Is It Alright?

by Sashataakheru



Series: Strange Magic [13]
Category: Electric Light Orchestra RPS, The Move RPS
Genre: Aftercare, Angst, Community: kink_bingo, Cuddling, Flogging, M/M, Penance - Freeform, Punishment, Reconciliation, Whipping, collaring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-22
Updated: 2011-08-22
Packaged: 2017-10-22 22:54:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/243487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hugh's been serving Carl for a few years when Jeff suddenly reappears in his life, looking for him. Hugh isn't at all pleased and wants nothing more to do with him. Jeff finds out the hard way that he never really understood Hugh at all. Set 1989.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is It Alright?

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt 'penance/punishment' for kink_bingo. [My card and all my other fills can be found here.](http://3evilmuses.dreamwidth.org/31556.html)
> 
> Also, it might not be obvious (at least until I post my polybigbang fic next year) but Ace has schizophrenia, and Carl and the rest of the subs in this Household care for him. Trust me, it'll make more sense once my polybigbang fic.

"Oh, I don't believe it. What the fuck is he doing back here?" Hugh muttered as he squashed out his cigarette.

Across the road, away from the alleyway, Jeff crossed the street, huddled into his coat as if he didn't want to be seen. Hugh would've ignored him if he hadn't been heading in his direction. Hugh was supposed to be meeting a client there, and he didn't want Jeff interferring. He nearly went to leave, but Jeff had already seen him, reaching for his arm as he approached.

"Hugh, wait, I just wanna-"

Hugh turned to him. "What do you want? Make it quick. I'm supposed to be working."

Jeff stopped him. "So it's true then. I'd heard you'd, y'know, but I couldn't believe it. I had to see fer meself."

Hugh pulled his arm free and slapped him. "That's for what you did to Kelly," Hugh slapped him again, "and that's for what you did to me, you bastard. Get out of here before you get me into trouble."

Jeff stood there shocked, wondering what had changed him so much. Hugh turned to leave again, but Jeff grabbed his arm.

"Look, just hear me out, alright? I just - I'd heard about it and I wanted to-"

Hugh pulled away again and headed out onto the street. Jeff followed him, trying to catch up. Hugh ignored him, trying not to show how upset he was that his old master had found him again.

"Hugh, please, can you just stop for one moment? We need to talk," Jeff tried.

"Why would I want to talk to you? You ended it. I moved on. What's there to discuss?" Hugh said coldly.

Jeff didn't give up, pulling him into another alleyway as he shoved him against a wall, trying to keep him still long enough to talk. Hugh glared at him, struggling to get free.

"Let me go. I'm working tonight and if you lose me any money, I'm gonna to kill you," Hugh said.

"Just - just answer me one thing, yeah? Then I'll leave you alone- Are you really on the take? How'd it get that bad?" Jeff said, loosening his grip a little.

"It got that bad because I didn't have you around to stop me. I lost everything because you weren't there to say no. I missed you. I sought other masters. This is the result. It's all I'm good for anymore. That's all you need to know," Hugh said.

"I looked for you, you know. I tried to find you. You were right about her too. She broke me heart, and I wish I'd listened to you instead of throwing you out like that. I looked all over London until someone said you'd come back here, working for some master as a sub for hire. I had to find you. To apologise. To try and make things better. I didn't like the thought of you being used like that," Jeff said.

"I might be a sub, but I'm not an idiot. You need to stop equating the two. You think I'm unhappy doing this work, don't you? Wrong again. I like being a whore. I'm being useful. I get to pleasure the people who come to me. If you knew me at all, you'd understand why I'm happy," Hugh said.

"Yeah? Well, you sure as shit don't look too happy," Jeff said.

Hugh shoved him away. "That's because I'm staring at you. Why did you come here, Jeff? Did you think I'd be waiting to come running back to you? You're pathetic if you think I'd ever wear your collar again. You're a weak bastard and I hate you."

Without thinking, Jeff retaliated by slapping him and shoved him back against the wall. Hugh pushed away from him and punched him hard. Jeff tried to get hold of him, but Hugh struggled free, pushing him away. As he tried to run, Jeff tackled him to the ground, pinning him down. He grabbed his wrists hard, and Hugh could feel his knuckles scraping against the ground.

"You think you're better than me? Here you are, lying in a gutter, whoring yourself out to anyone who'll have you. Whoever your master is, he doesn't give a shit about you like I do if this is what he makes you do. Didn't I teach you anything while you served me?" Jeff said.  
"He cares more for me than you ever did. I choose to do this. He keeps me safe and fed, and he understands my desire for submission. It's abundantly clear you never did. What's the matter? Feeling pissy since you got screwed over? You had it coming. I warned you and you ignored me. Well, fuck you. Not my fault you got hurt," Hugh said.

Jeff slapped him again. He hated that he'd been able to wound him so deeply. Hugh didn't react, lying there passively as Jeff tried to hold back his tears. Jeff hit him again, trying to get him to react, but his heart wasn't in it and Hugh knew it.

Grasping his hair firmly, Hugh pulled him into a bruising kiss, trying to hurt him back. Jeff wanted to pull away, but wasn't this what he'd wanted anyway? Too shocked by the move, Hugh was able to shove him away and get to his feet. Jeff went after him. Hugh refused to be submissive as Jeff wrestled him to the ground. Jeff pinned his shoulders down hard, and Hugh could see the tears in his eyes. Clearly, he'd hit a nerve.

"Go on, smack me round like I know you want to. Throw all your goddamn anger at me. Punch me til I'm bruised all over. Tear my hair out. Beat me til I stop screaming with pain. Leave me broken and dying on the streets. Punish me for breaking all your goddamn rules, for knowing exactly how to hurt you. No one'll care. I'm just a whore, remember?" Hugh said bitterly.

Jeff went to punch him, but pulled back at the last minute. The way he was lying there so passively, ready to take his punches, broke him out of his rage. "No, no, I won't do that. I can't, I-"

Jeff gave him one last bruising kiss before he scrambled to his feet, slipping on the wet ground as he fled. Hugh sat up, rubbing his sore cheek. If anything good would come from the meeting, he could get his master to take care of Jeff for touching his sub without permission. That'd teach him.

* * *

The streets were chilly as Hugh headed home, and there was nowhere warm to hide. He wiped his tears away as he ran, knowing he'd get in trouble for missing his last client. He needed to get home as soon as he could, find a cab to speed things up, so he could apologise and maybe he wouldn't get punished too badly.

* * *

The house was dark when he finally arrived. Crawling through the subs' entrance around the back, Hugh entered as quietly as he could in case his master had gone to sleep. He stopped in the cloak room to hang up his coat and kick off his boots. He headed through the servants' quarters to the housekeeper's office to leave his takings, entering each record in the red leather notebook that sat on the desk.

Not all the clients he met were pre-arranged meetings. Some he picked up off the street when directed to do so. He'd learnt to suss out anyone who wasn't worth it, and he'd made sure his sub contract had a clause in it that let him say no to clients without repercussion if he felt in danger. He might be a man, but that didn't make prostitution any safer. Leaving the money in the cash box, he turned to leave and saw one of his master's housekeepers blocking the doorway.

Roy looked him over. "You're home early, aren't you? You alright?"

"Ran into Jeff. He made me miss the last one. Slapped me round a bit. I'm sorry, sir. I'll do anything to make up for it," Hugh said as he knelt before him.

"Jeff's back? I wonder what he's doing back here again," Roy said, unsure if he was happy about it or not.

"He wanted to see me, sir. Said he'd been looking all over for me. Said he wanted to make things better between us. I just - I'm sorry, I don't want to see him again," Hugh said, trying not to sound too upset by it.

Roy brought him into a hug and held him close, stroking his hair gently. "It's okay. You're forgiven this time, but master says you're still sleeping in the dog house tonight. He can't let you get away with it with no consequence, even if Jeff was at fault."

"Sir, I'd sleep in the middle of a snowstorm if he asked me to. I was expecting some sort of punishment for letting him down," Hugh said.

Roy smiled at him. "Go on, I'll get you locked up. He wants to see you first thing tomorrow morning. You can tell him about your encounter with Jeff then. If he hit you, he'll want to know."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Jeff didn't sleep. Lying in bed, he stared at the ceiling above as if it might bring him some comfort. He was sore, physically and emotionally. So many thoughts were running through his head and he had no way of articulating them. He wasn't sure what to do next. He was more than a little aware he nearly lost control and beat his old submissive senseless, just because he'd made him upset. He had stopped himself at the last minute, sure, but that didn't seem to matter. He'd nearly done it and that was enough.

It disturbed him. He wasn't normally like that. It had taken him a long time to get used to inflicting physical punishment on Hugh in the first place, even when he'd asked for it. He still felt guilty about it from time to time. But Hugh had just made him so angry, he'd-

No. He wasn't going to go there again. He really had to get over all this pain. Taking it out on Hugh wasn't even fair to him. Hugh didn't belong to him anymore, and even if he did, subs weren't punching bags. Beating them up just because he felt like it wasn't right. Beating up someone else's sub without permission was even worse. He knew he'd insulted Hugh's master by doing that, whoever he was, and the urge to flee town and escape the consequences did cross his mind then. He was good at running away and pretending everything was fine. It made things hurt less.

He sat up in the darkness and closed his eyes, trying to rid himself of his anger. He was still upset, and while he had rather reluctantly come home again, he hadn't burnt all his bridges, and he still had some friends he wanted to see. He still felt like Birmingham was home, even if sometimes it felt like a foreign city.

But when he thought about it, he realised there wasn't anything left for him there anymore. And yet- he didn't feel like leaving would solve anything either. He'd come back partly to find Hugh and make things right with him. He'd realised he should never have let him go as soon as he'd done it, but for more than a year, Hugh refused to see him. Then Jeff had lost track of him so he'd let it drop. His own life was beginning to implode anyway; he had other priorities and he'd been chided more than once for caring more about some pathetic slave he'd been fucking around with than his own family, a charge he was relucant to answer, even if he knew it was sort of true.

He wasn't sure what he'd do in the morning. Hugh obviously didn't want to see him, and he didn't know where to look for him anyway. None of his contacts back in London had known who Hugh now bowed to, and not knowing was beginning to get infuriating. He didn't even know why he'd become so obsessed with it either. It wasn't like Hugh would just take him back. He wasn't even sure he wanted him back.

It occurred to him then that perhaps he was jealous. He didn't like the idea that someone else could be a better master to Hugh than he had been. Jeff prided himself on his perfectionism. It just hadn't stretched to that part of his life. He hadn't been good enough.

And then he'd come back. He'd insulted and disrespected one of the local Doms within an hour of arriving back home. He couldn't even plead innocence anymore. He knew the rules. He knew the scene, even if he didn't participate anymore. He knew, and he still nearly beat Hugh senseless for no good reason. He'd touched someone else's property without permission. He owed him, whoever his master was, and he had no doubt his master would come to him to ask that he repay him. Hugh would no doubt tell his master who'd done it. Jeff would just have to take whatever punishment he deemed appropriate and move on.

Jeff could forget about trying to buy Hugh back as well. There was no way Hugh's master would want to negotiate a price for Hugh now, no matter how much money Jeff threw at him, and Jeff had plenty of money. If Hugh's master was as good as Hugh said he was, he'd never sell to someone who'd disrespected him so much. To bring up a price would be a further insult. Jeff decided he'd done more than enough. All he could do now was wait and see what the morning brought.

* * *

Hugh was roused just after dawn as Roy began his morning duties. Released from the dog house, he was led back into the house and sent off to shower. His master had asked to see him first thing, and he should be clean and presentable.

In the bathroom, Hugh looked at the bruises and grazes on his body. Jeff had knocked him round rather more than he'd anticipated. They weren't bad wounds, just surface injuries, and the wounds would heal in a few days. None of them would prevent him working, but his master would still take issue with them. Another master touching his submissives without permission, hurting his submissives without permission, was a gross sign of disrespect, and Hugh knew his master would pay back the insult.

Tidying himself up as he dressed in his best outfit, he ate a meagre meal before Roy led him upstairs to their master's room, carrying his master's breakfast. It was the biggest bedroom on the third floor, the entrance marked by two roaring lions. Crawling on his hands and knees, Hugh followed Roy inside.

The room was dark. Hugh waited in the entrance as Roy got to work, setting the breakfast tray down on a nearby table before opening the thick curtains. Carl, his master, sat up gladly as Roy presented him with his breakfast. Roy bowed again and sat by his bed on the floor, ready to serve him.

Hugh waited in silence for his master to finish eating. While the temptation to embellish what had happened, just to get back at Jeff, was floating in his mind, Carl had taught him honesty and he would not dare lie to him if he cherished his privilege.

"Hugh, come here. Tell me everything that happened," his master called, breaking Hugh out of his thoughts.

"Yes, sir," Hugh replied as he crawled over to him. Kneeling beside him on the ground, he bowed his head to his master and told him what had happened.

"Did he hurt you?" Carl asked.

"Yes, sir, but it wasn't bad," Hugh replied.

"Stand up. Show me," Carl said.

"Yes, sir."

Hugh got to his feet and stripped, standing before his master as he revealed the bruises on his body. He stared at the floor as Carl got out of bed to inspect him. He didn't sound pleased by what he saw.

"You can still work?" Carl said.

"Yes, sir. It's only light bruising, it should heal soon. It won't get in the way of my duties, sir," Hugh said.

Carl lifted his chin and ;ooked him in the eye. "Hmm. Nevertheless, I don't want you going out there again til they've healed. I don't present damaged goods to my clients. It's unprofessional."

"No, sir. As you wish, sir," Hugh said. "I will enjoy not having to run into him again, sir."

"You leave Jeff to me. You can tend to Ace today. That'll keep you busy," Carl said.

"Yes, sir," Hugh said.

The conversation over, Hugh bowed again and dressed before leaving them alone.

* * *

He headed downstairs to find Ace's part of the house. He liked looking after him. It made being whored out worth it bcause all the money went to Ace so that he didn't go without. It helped pay for his care, and anything else he wanted. Ace appeciated it. Having his own money made him feel like he was less of a burden.

Hugh made sure to knock first and announce his arrival. Ace could always refuse to let him in, he'd found that out that the hard way, and had quickly learnt to get used to Ace's quirks. A few minutes later, Ace opened the door to him.

"You've got me today," Hugh said cheerfully.

Ace smiled. He reached for his hand, and Hugh held it firmly. "Bout bloody time. I missed you. Come on in, Angel."

Ace led him down the hall and out to the conservatory. It was warm with summer sun. Ace left him and went to sit by the window, basking in the morning sunshine. Sometimes Hugh thought he should've been a cat, given how much he liked sunshine. Indeed, his two grey cats, Michael and Gabriel, were draped elegantly in the sunniest parts of the conservatory. Hugh came and sat beside him. Ace reached for his hand, glad he was there.

"I wish you'd come down here more often, you know. I miss my Angel," Ace said.

Hugh squeezed his hand gently. "I can't get in trouble all the time, you know that. He wouldn't like that."

Ace sighed. "No, I don't suppose he would."

"I can try to come down more often during my free time, though. Only I'm never sure if you're here half the time, so I don't stop by," Hugh said.

"Monday afternoon. That can be our time. Bugger what Carl says. Come down and stay with me again. I miss having you near, Angel. I've got some new songs to play you as well. You'll like them, I promise," Ace said.

"Well, if you've written them, I'm sure I will like them. It's a deal. I'll come down and see you on Mondays," Hugh said.

Ace grinned and gazed up at the sky for a moment. "So what did you do this time anyway? I thought I heard you come home late last night."

"Yeah, I did. It's a long story, and I won't bore you with the details. My old master turned up last night while I was out. Accosted me in the street while I was working. I'm not in the best of moods right now," Hugh said.

"I always said he was a bastard, didn't I?" Ace said.

"Yeah, you did. But he's gone now. Out of my life for good. I found my family here and I never want to leave," Hugh said.

Ace snuggled up beside him. "God sent me an Angel, he did. Never leave me, Angel. I couldn't stand it if you left. Why don't we go for a walk around the gardens? That'll take your mind off him. We can sing together, like we used to do."

"I think that's a very good idea," Hugh replied.

* * *

The summons had been delivered by hand. Jeff had refused to make a scene as he recognised the man delivering it. He took the note politely and watched him go. He'd known what it was before he'd even opened it. What he didn't expect was the instructions he'd been given.

He'd been called to an address in a small village out of town at 3pm. He'd arrived on time, wondering what would happen. He'd been let in by Roy, who appeared to be the butler. He'd declined to question why Roy was there answering the door as he was collared and led through to the dungeon. He went to ask Roy what his master wanted, or even who he was, but Roy refused and shoved him forward.

Jeff approached the heavy wooden door apprehensively. He almost went to touch it, but pulled his hand away at the last minute and knelt before it instead. He stayed there, staring at the floor. He had been summoned to this door, and he had no idea what was behind it.  
He waited there for a very long time. Eventually, the door opened, and Jeff looked up to find Carl standing there, glaring down at him. Hugh stood beside him.

"That him?" Carl said to Hugh.

Hugh nodded. "That's him, alright."

Carl grabbed Jeff roughly and dragged him inside. Hugh closed the heavy door behind them. Jeff was left in the middle of the dungeon floor while Carl prepared. Hugh moved to Jeff's side and held him down, like he'd been instructed.

Carl turned to face them then. "I take it you know why you're here."

"If this is about Hugh, I promise, I didn't mean to-"

Carl slapped him before he had a chance to finish. "I don't want to hear your bloody excuses. Face up to what you did for once. Take your punishment and get the fuck out of here."

Jeff bowed his head, realising he wasn't getting out of this one. Perhaps it really would be better just to take it and leave. At least then it'd be over with.

"Yes, sir."

The words had been so hard to say. Jeff didn't like submission at all, but he wasn't in a position to say no, not when he had punishment due for insulting Carl. Taking responsibility wasn't really his thing, but maybe now wasn't a bad time to start. He felt Carl grasp the back of his neck.

"I could just flog you, you know. I just feel like whipping you until I feel you've paid for what you did. But that would be too simple. You need more than that. You need to confront what you've done. You need to listen to Hugh. I've half a mind to take you into subspace, just to get you in the mood, but that might be pushing it. Then again, maybe it'd do you some good to know what it's like on the other side," Carl said.

Jeff wasn't sure what he'd prefer. A good flogging might be weirdly cathartic, and at least he could avoid confronting Hugh. He scolded himself for wanting to take the easy option again. He'd actually never been whipped before, but physical pain was better than the other options. Physical pain healed. His heart was still covered with painful wounds.

"I-I'm not your submissive. I don't want to be your submissive. Just punish me and let me go. You'll never see me again," Jeff said.

"Strip him. Chain him to that whipping post. Make sure he's in shackles," Carl said to Hugh, unwilling to hear him out.

Being manhandled by his former submissive was humiliating. He wasn't even allowed to undress on his own. Hugh made him stand still as he undressed him and put shackles on his wrists and ankles.

Jeff was on his knees, his hands cuffed around the post. There was a small cushion under his knees, but it wasn't very comfortable. He didn't think it was meant to be comfortable. He had nothing to support him bar the post in front of him.

"You're going to hate this, and you're going to hate me for doing it to you, but you should know better than to touch someone else's property, let alone give them a beating, without asking first. I know you were inexperienced when you took Hugh on all those years ago, but you're not that naïve anymore, and you can't hide behind ignorance, not now, not with me," Carl said.

Jeff did know better. He hadn't had a submissive since Hugh had left, and even though he never really counted himself as part of the scene anymore, that didn't mean he didn't know their rules. He knew what he'd done was wrong and disrespectful. Punishment was the least he deserved. He didn't reply, and braced himself for the pain.

That first stroke against his arse was shocking, even though it hadn't been very hard. Carl appeared to be using his hands, and he smacked him smartly. Light though the sensation was, Jeff's muscles tensed at the pain. Carl was right; he hated it. He clung onto the post and braced himself, hoping it would be over soon. He wasn't sure his knees wouldn't give out on him. With his eyes squeezed shut, he didn't notice Hugh kneeling in front of him until he touched his hand gently and began talking softly to him.

"Relax. Trust me, you don't want to be tense. It'll make recovery so much worse. Just breathe out the pain and relax. I promise, it'll be better that way. He'll start softly and get harder. It'll help you adjust to it. I know it's punishment, and it's not meant to be nice, but trust me. Master knows what he's doing," Hugh said.

Jeff opened his eyes and saw him there. Before he could reply, Hugh brought him into a kiss, soft and slow. Jeff stared at him when they broke apart. "But- why are you even - I don't understand."

Hugh sat back a little. "No, Jeff, you never did."

Another stroke, a little harder, on the other side. Hugh took his hand. Jeff tried to relax. The strokes were dull, not stinging, and after a while, he did get used to them. Carl had moved from his hands to some type of flogger. It hurt a little more, stung a bit more, but it was bearable. The strokes moved from his arse and thighs up to his shoulders and back again. His skin felt warm, painful and raw. He still didn't like them, but he had stopped tensing up so much. Hugh was still holding his hand. Jeff wasn't sure he'd ever be able to tell him how much he appreciated it.

Carl yanked his head back then, looking down at him. "It's gonna get rougher now. I've switched to the braided flogger. That'll sting hard, that will. Try not to move too much, will you? It'll only make it worse. There won't be too many of these though. If you were more experienced, I'd give you a lot more. I'm punishing you, not whipping you to death."

Jeff didn't much like the sound of his voice, but didn't reply. Hugh kissed him again and tried to settle him. The first stroke across his shoulders stung like mad. Tears welled in his eyes. "Oh, God," he breathed.

Hugh's voice was in his ear almost immediately. "Shh, just relax, like I told you. Breathe with it, and don't move. Don't get anxious. Just accept each stroke as it comes."

Jeff took a moment to breathe deeply and relax. He shifted a little, trying to get comfortable. When he stopped moving, the second stroke lashed across his shoulders. He clutched onto the post and tried not to cry out in pain.

Jeff hit his limit after another four. The pain was just too much, and he collapsed against the post, exhausted and tired. He wasn't even trying to hide his tears anymore.

"Please. No more. I can't take it anymore. Let me go, please. I want to stop now. I'm so sorry. I just want to stop now," Jeff murmured.

Carl knelt beside him and turned his face to look at him. "That all you got in you? I thought you'd take a bit more than that. But if you want to stop, we'll stop. Hugh, get him out of there and take him next door."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Jeff was unsteady on his feet, and leant heavily against Hugh as they walked across to the next room. The smaller room had been decked out with cushions and blankets and a robe. Hugh asked him to lie down on the cushions, Jeff lay down willingly, bringing a cushion under his chest to support his head. Every inch of his body hurt. But then he felt Hugh rubbing some oil into his back gently, slowly, carefully, tending to his aching skin.

Jeff tried to turn his head to look at him, but there was a twinge of pain that stopped him. "Y'don't have to do that. I-I'll be fine. I jus' wanna lie here."

"I'm not letting you go til you've been looked after properly. That was your first whipping. It's really intense, isn't it? But this'll help it heal. Just relax, alright? It's for your own good," Hugh said.

Jeff mumbled an agreement and left it at that. He had so many thoughts running around in his head but no energy to articulate them. Hugh rubbed down his whole body, gently massaging every muscle until the pain dulled sufficiently for it not to be at the forefront of his mind.

"Sit up and eat, if you're hungry," Hugh said, offering him some tea and chocolate.

Jeff hadn't expected the offer. Turning around was painful, but he managed to sit up. He waited for the pain to dull again and pulled the robe on, hoping to get rid of the chill in the air. The smell of the tea made his stomach growl and he accepted the cup of tea Hugh offered.

"Hugh, I-"

Hugh interrupted him. "Don't, Jeff. Don't bring that shit up now. It's over, alright?"

Jeff's shoulders slumped. He sat there, looking miserable. "I'm sorry. For everything."

Hugh shot him a look. "So you should be." His expression softened as he gazed at him. "But you're forgiven. It's all in the past now, right?"

Jeff didn't know what he'd done to be forgiven, but didn't argue the point. "Yeah, it's all in the past. I always wondered how you were, you know. I never should've let you go."

Hugh sighed. "I hated you for years, but I'm a better person now. Master's made me a better person. I had to go through all that shit to come out better on the other side. I'm not sure if I'd be there if I was still with you. No offence, of course."

Jeff brushed off the insult. He was beginning to understand. "What did I do wrong with you? Why wasn't I any good? I don't understand why I wasn't able to make it work for you. I'm good at everything else. Why wasn't I good at this?"

Hugh shrugged. "You didn't know how to handle me, and I expected too much from you. You were too inexperienced. That's not your fault. I should've been more realistic. But I was young too. Too young to know what I really needed. I'm sorry if I made you do anything you were uncomfortable with. I never wanted it to end up that way."

Jeff looked over at him and smiled, a hand touching his shoulder. "I reckon we were both idiots back then. I just wanted you to behave, and all that bondage stuff made you behave. It worked, so I used it. I still don't think I really get it. But we had some fun, didn't we? You did enjoy it though, right? I hope I didn't make it unbearable for you."

"It was fun while it lasted. I was never unhappy when I was bowing to you. I wanted your domination more than I needed air to breathe. I'd have done anything if you'd asked. Anything at all. I like serving. I like being useful. My Master's pleasure always comes first. I've always been like that. But it only kicks in when I've got a Master I trust and respect. You were the first one I found. You had this natural domination about you that made me want to bow to you. Not everyone has that, you know? But you had it, and I worshipped you for it. For the first time in my life, I'd found someone I could look up to. I'd have done anything to make you happy." Hugh paused a moment before continuing, taking a sip of tea. "But then you let me go, and it was broken off so suddenly I had no time to adjust to it. Just - one day I'm by your side, the next I'm out on my own. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to live. I reacted badly. I blamed you for everything. I lost it all through my own stupidity. I'm man enough to admit that now. But I don't blame you anymore. It took my Master a long time to get me to deal with that and turn me into a better submissive, but he got me there."

Jeff wasn't sure how to respond. He felt like apologising again, but he wasn't sure that would be enough. "What happened?" he said, for lack of anything else to say.

"Everything happened. I don't really want to go into it. It was one hell of a ride, and I'm glad it's over," Hugh said.

Jeff looked at him sympathetically. "That bad, huh?"

Hugh nodded. "That bad. You know I was homeless, right? I was a mess before my Master took me in."

"I heard, yeah. I'm sorry. I never wanted it to end the way it did, but I wasn't in a great state of mind at the time. I didn't know what I was doing. I regretted letting you go as soon as I'd done it, but there was no going back. You didn't want me, and the more I thought of it, the more I felt you didn't deserve me anyway. I never liked hurting you. I never got used to that. But it was what you wanted so I did my best. I'm sorry," Jeff said.

Hugh looked at him and smiled a little. "Why don't we both agree we fucked up and call it a day? End all the bullshit. Let's part ways in peace. Maybe not as friends, I don't know if we could ever be friends again, but at least with all our grievances put to rest. It's been too long. I think we both deserve a chance to move on properly, don't you? Say goodbye like we always should've done."

Jeff's heart broke a little. When Hugh had kissed him, he had dared to hope they might be friends again, but Hugh was making it clear he didn't want that. "We're never going to be friends again? No, yer right, it's probably too late to salvage it. But I'll leave you alone now. I won't come after you. You've got a good master now. I could never be that good. If he's the one you want, it's not my place to take you from him. I hope yer happy. I'd hate for you to be unhappy."

Hugh brought him into a soft hug and pressed a kiss to his temple. "Give us time, hey? Maybe we'll meet again in a bar when we're sixty and everything will be fine again. I just don't want to hurry. I don't want to be hurt again. I think we need to put this to rest and go our separate ways for now. If that changes in a few years, so be it, but neither of us can predict that."

Jeff wanted to cry again, but stopped himself. "Yeah, maybe later. I'm glad you're happy now."

Hugh smiled. "Yeah, so am I."

* * *

Jeff had finally gone. Carl had brought Hugh into the sitting room, and they sat together, side by side. Hugh still wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the whole thing, but any hate he had left in his heart towards Jeff was now gone. Carl held him close, and brushed his hair gently. Hugh calmed down, and he held his master back gladly.

Before they'd brought Jeff in, Carl had spent a long time talking to Hugh about what he had to do. It was more discipline training, and Hugh had learnt to accept his master's judgement about what was good for him. Talking to Jeff again would be difficult, and he hadn't been too keen on doing it, but he was glad he had now. He might never have talked to him if Carl hadn't forced them together.

"You feeling alright? I know that was hard to do, but it's what you needed. I hope you can finally move on," Carl said.

"I can, for now. Thank you, Master. I don't think I've ever realised just how much you care until now. I'm a better person because of you. I can't thank you enough for that. I don't think I really knew what a Dom was supposed to be until I came into your service," Hugh said.

"I think talking is what does it. Jeff was never very good at talking. I think that's the difference," Carl mused.

"Maybe," Hugh said, unsure if he agreed.

"You found your way home. Not everyone gets that. Do you want to play tonight as a reward for confronting Jeff?" Carl said.

Hugh snuggled in beside him. "No, I don't think so. Not tonight. I don't really feel like it. I just want to stay here with you. Is that alright?"

Carl smiled and held him close. He brought him into a soft kiss. "That's alright."


End file.
